328. there's the rub.
I’m getting paid to have a wank
in a plastic cup at the donor bank
as the sack was often emptied free
I’ve wasted more than the lottery
if I had a pound for each of those
I’d have a tenner
or somewhere close
and all those mags with crispy pages
against whose art the feminist rages
the airbrushed fannies & tits & bums
now interspersed with biscuit crumbs
and coffee stains – or often worse
it must be nice to be the first
a virgin page, a comely lass
a litho lovely – and what an ass !
and I feel so sorry for all you girlies
no female fumblings in the short & curlies
you won’t get paid for what you do
and “equality” won’t help you to
well, not round here at any rate
so stay at home & missturbate
and the next time that you’re feeling randy
remember it’s a free hand shandy.